Apocalypse Antiquing

Parallel Earth: 262320
Exhibition: the Apocalypse
Parallel Historians: Austin Elmore, JJ Darling, and Ben Tumbling.

Untitled (Auction Video for the Last Stand Bar Machete)
Unknown Underground Auctioneer, 2018
Digital media

That collecting antiques from the apocalypse era is a popular activity is unsurprising. This very exhibit is testament to that fact. The CDC strongly advises all objects that might have made contact with an infected person be destroyed, but stops short of asking congress for a law prohibiting the practice. Mostly, apocalypse antique collecting is considered in bad taste by major antique dealers and auction houses, which only strengthens underground trade.

The most sought after objects are those that were used directly against the living dead, objects that were used to kill infected men and women. The commonly used term for these items is terminator. And, just like when buying diamonds or amassing comic books, certain traits are valued over others. These variables are collectively known as S.O.C.S.

Splatter – The amount of human genetic material still present on a terminator makes a stronger case for its past use. This is usually the first criteria for determining authenticity.

Origin – The closer a terminator was to historically significant areas, the better. Washington D.C., New York, and Pennsylvania are best. Records are nearly impossible to come by, however, so the place of first sale or acquisition is usually accepted as the place of origin.

Customization – Changes to a terminator’s design, such as adding a better grip or extending a handle, make an item unique. Alterations also suggest the original user survived long enough to make improvements, which adds to a terminator’s story and value.

Strangeness – The less similar a terminator is to an actual weapon, the more it is prized. Crowbars and baseball bats, for example, are less valuable than frying pans or knitting needles.

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One thought on “Apocalypse Antiquing

  1. Pingback: The Atwell Tigers | Parallel History Museum

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